Nick Saban Is A Master Motivator, History Buff

 
We start the day with some news happening outside of Fins Nation. Former Dolphins coach -- but forever the holder of the lifetime achievement award for being a dick -- Nick Saban compared his Alabama team’s plight to 9/11:

"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event," Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. "It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event."

Pearl Harbor did kind of, sort of, get us ready for World War II. Or whatever. Who the fuck knows? Does it really matter? That shit is ancient history. All those people who died in Pearl Harbor were old anyway. I seen the pictures. 

And God knows 9/11 changed my spirit relative to catastrophic events. Like every time I burn my tongue when I bring my coffee up to my mouth too fast. I don’t get upset like I used to. I just blow into the cup and try again. Crisis averted. Whew. Thanks 9/11!

Yea, Nick Saban is still a fucking douchebag relative to being a goddamed shitheel. He and his $4 million a year contract (highest paid fucker in Division I-A) just got his Little Debbie snack cakes shoved up his ass by Louisiana Monroe. Or was it ITT Tech? Some might say the distress of such an embarrassing loss, coupled by the team's current three-game losing streak, is the reason why he came out and made such insensitive remarks. But, no. He made those remarks because he’s an asshole.

Oh, and by the way Nick, we’re still waiting for changes to occur down here after the catastrophe known as your tenure as our head coach.

Comments

[vman]

ROLL TIDE !!! Ha Ha Kharma is a mother fucker. Slick Nick better watch his P's & Q's those BAMA nuts with Fuck'em, Kill'em and eat'em......not necessarily in that order.

[snerdly_mortsnerd]

Ohh sure... blame Nick Saban for your meltdown.

Unless you fish heads have forgotten, your team was tailspinning BEFORE his tenure.

[Dat RoRo Kid]

"Like when my assistant didn't get me the right Little Debbie snacks relative to me raping her, slitting her throat and dumping her in the Everglades...ummm...that was like 9/11, right?"

[Dat RoRo Kid]

Snerdly,

Why don't you go fuck Patriot Pat or whatever his stupid fuckin' name was? You know everyone in the world hates you guys and can't wait to watch you fail. This will INEVITABLY happen, asshat.

In addition, you Boston faggots are WORLD-RENOWNED for being Patriots front-runners. You didn't even know where Foxboro was before 2001, you Waltham fuckface.

[rojowill]

Again Snerdly.... you bring some weak ass shit here. Dude "fish heads?" What the fuck does that mean? If I were a Patriots fan I'd be ashamed to know you exist.

[Jeff]

Speaking of Belicheat and his Pats, if they make it past Pit undefeated, Miami will be the ones to put a "L" on their record in week 16. You heard it here 1st! Who has scored the most points on the average Pat D this year? The same team that shut them out last year. Beck will have several more games under his belt (if Lemon can lead a 28pt effort...), Zach will be back, our defense is finally coming around even without Zach and we did it in 1986.

[finfan1]

snerdly talks like a man who has shit for brains.

[vman]

Jeff,
As much as we would all like to see that. I think that's a reach.
I hate the Pats and Belicheat is a sub-human, but more likley than not they won't lose this year.
Unless Tom Brady go down.
(literally not Figuratively, all though I have my doubts)
Anyway.....We can always hope!!

[rojowill]

snerdly talks like a man who has no dick.

[Jeff]

Meant 1985... how poetic would it be if the one game we won this year was the one game that the Pats lost?

[Lady Phin]

Dude, the headline should read:

Nick Saban is a Master-bater and Cock buff-er

LP

[Warhawk Alumni]

“just got his Little Debbie snack cakes shoved up his ass by Louisiana Monroe.”

Best. Line. Ever.

God bless you guys and go ‘Hawks! (and Fins :) )

[finfan1]

LOL Rojowill! :)