Where's Lorenzo?

Say what you want about the pre-season. It's boring, it's lame, it's tedious. But I say it's ... well, yea. I pretty much agree with you. It fucking sucks. But out of the mind-numbing waiting game we're all playing, one question remains unanswered. A question so profound it makes you crinkle your face and go, "Hmm...That's rather peculiar," as if someone farted in the room and the only person in the room is you and you know you didn't do it.

The question: Why haven't we seen rookie running back Lorenzo Booker this pre-season?

Apparently, either Booker sucks. Or he's run off with Richard Gear to find the Dalai Lama on a trip of self-awareness and beauty. Or he's being held away from opposing defensive coordinator's eyes as a secret weapon to be unleashed to the unsuspecting masses during the regular season.

The Herald ponders the query as well.

There's no denying Booker is good. He's got great hands and, well, he's fast. But here's the thing. We haven't seen much of Booker because A.) he just became a father and B.) well, that about covers it. He also says he's not worried that he's missed some playing time. There's no big plan for Booker. He had a kid. That's it. God the pre-season sucks. Nothing but ballwashing puff pieces and conspiracy theories.

Lorenzo Booker hasn't been around because he's really a secret weapon. The offense is just messin' around. The offensive line is coming together. Trent Green is still a good quarterback. All things I'd like to believe. But as the late great Dean Wormer once said, "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining."

Unless Cam's secret plan is to unleash the Incredible Hulk (nimble feet, good hands, plays angry) or Godzilla (tremendous wing-span, leathery skin, shoots fire from mouth) as our starting left tackle and guard, I'm afraid all we're going to see of Secret Weapon Booker is of him being stuffed for a 4 yard loss. Again. And again.

Comments

[gersom]

Maybe Cam will roll him out after halftime of the season opener singing "Here I come to save the day" from Mighty Mouse. He just gives us something else to look forward to along with Uh... and Umm.... Umm.... and well... Uh... well how about Umm... DAMN! Preseason SUCKS!!! Hi Lady P. Please don't make us wait 'til playoffs (Playoffs? Playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs? We just gotta win a game. Playoffs?) We're all waiting with baited breath and looking forward to Umm... Uh... DAMN! Preseason SUCKS!!!

[Lady Phin]

I'm gonna put my tits out there and say that he is the Secret Weapon and thats why Ronnie Brown is kick returning...

I could be wrong but we suck now so it's all relative...

LP

[gersom]

Relative indeed. And where did you put them? Out there where? DAMN!!! Preseason SUCKS!!! :)

[Dat RoRo Kid]

Lady Phin - Teasing all us MSD dorks since 2006. haha

[rojowill]

Yea, seriously LP.

WHAT THE FUCK FOOT?

[TK]

Nice scouting report on the Hulk and Godzilla!

[Jing]

ahaha LP and LOL dude the godzilla and HUlk comments were priceless.